This afternoon I realized just how deeply children love. The boys and I spent the day working in the youth room taking off wallpaper with a girl in the youth. Logan and her walked around outside some and she found a caterpillar that he 'adopted.' We had an empty Sonic cup which he cleaned out, added some grass and a twig to, and placed him in. He spent most of the day with him, petting him, letting him rest on his arm, crawl all over his hands, etc. We left about 5 to head to his baseball practice. My job at the game was to watch 'Caterpillar' and make sure he didn't escape. He came over many times to check on him. Towards the end of practice, he was showing him to a few friends (they thought he was SO cool) and a small black spider landed on his shirt. Being the paranoid mom I am, I flicked the spider a few times, unaware that he was holding 'Caterpillar.' Somehow during this, 'Caterpillar' fell to the ground...and I squished him. You must know that I held back tears as I realized what had happened, and immediately picked up my crying little Logan. He was devastated. "I loved him," he told me through his waterfall of tears. "I wanted to keep him forever and you killed him!" I promised to help him find a new 'Caterpillar' and possibly a fish (you know how it is...and we did talk about a fish the other day...). Later, in between crying fits whenever the memory hit, he asked if he would see him in heaven. I entertained the idea (because, after all, who knows?)...to which he responded that he wished we could all die and go to heaven so we could see him (he's not dramatic AT ALL...).
So what did I learn from all this? The love of a child. Even a caterpillar is loved so deeply that the thoughts remain long after their gone. He continued to talk about what a great day he had with 'Caterpillar,' and how much he loved him and that he named him "Lots of Fun" because that's what he had with him. It reminded me of the love that God has for us. That caterpillar didn't do anything to deserve his love. It didn't find him, he found it. In the same way, God has sought us out, just so He can love us. We've done nothing to earn God's love. He just loves us. If you haven't heard the song "How He Loves," you should go listen to it. Bask in the joy of God's love and the awesomeness of His grace.
As for my forgiveness, Logan forgave me. He never said it, but when watching a Sesame Street episode with Aiden (he picked our show tonight), the word of the day was "exquisite." They defined it as something "special and beautiful." My sweet boy looks at me and says, "Mom, that's you. You're exquisite. And you know what? I loved 'Caterpillar...but I love you more." Another example of God's love; forgiveness.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."-Ephesians 3:17-19
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